To find out how long falling in love lasts, let’s first try to figure out what it is.
Scientists have discovered that falling in love is a positive feeling that arises when one looks at a particular object of sympathy. During infatuation the consciousness is considerably narrowed, so that the person in love may not pay attention to the significant disadvantages of his or her partner. He tends to idealize his partner, seeing only positive qualities in her. At the same time, being in love can strongly resemble a nervous breakdown. Any call, message, knock on the door causes the person in love to react ambiguously to the most familiar events and to expect a visit from the other half.
Why do people fall in love?
Thanks to numerous studies, several main reasons why people fall in love have been discovered. Let’s look at them right now:
- External and/or internal similarities. If people have the same interests, hobbies, lifestyle, hair colour, like the same music, like the same movies, support the same football team, etc., this is a serious omen of falling in love.
- A parental resemblance. Yes, yes, it happens. Sometimes people subconsciously fall in love with someone who resembles their parents in appearance or character. And, more often than not, girls seek out men who resemble their fathers and boys prefer girls who remind them of their mother.
- Prolonged eye contact. The same restless scientists, in pursuit of statistics, made several dozen volunteers look into each other’s eyes for about two minutes. As it turned out later, most of the subjects began to have warmer feelings towards their partner than before the experiment began.
- Warmth. It turns out that if you sit in a warm room and drink warm tea on a first date, the chances of falling in love are much higher than if you go to the ice rink and eat ice cream together.
- Distance. Studies have proven that the closer a boy and a girl live together, the more often they see each other, the more likely it is that they will soon fall in love.
- Attractiveness. This is one of the most common reasons for falling in love. Your partner may like you because of your attractive appearance, your beautiful clothes or your slim figure. It has been found that people are most often attracted to a partner who is as attractive as they are.
- A smile. A positive person who smiles a lot has a better chance of falling in love with someone than a moody and depressed person.
Signs of falling in love
Once we understand the reasons for falling in love, let’s look at the signs of falling in love. The interesting thing is that the signs are slightly different for men and women. We will tell you why.
The main signs of falling in love in men
A man in love often resembles a silly little boy. When confronted with unfamiliar feelings, he becomes confused, shy, confused and sometimes blushing.
The main signs of falling in love in men
- A man in love often resembles a silly little boy. When confronted with unfamiliar feelings, he becomes confused, shy, confused and sometimes blushing.
- Also, guys in love are capable of unbelievable things. They want to show the object of their affection that they are brave and courageous. They try to stand up for their beloved in even the most petty situations, they may drive too fast or fight with a neighbour because he did not speak very flatteringly about the girl.
- In large company, a man in love is always looking for an excuse to talk to a woman he likes. He chooses her as his companion and even then, when he is telling something to everyone, he is bound to look at her.
- A man in love can be easily brushed off by his facial expressions: when talking to his object of adoration, he will endlessly fix his hair, touch his face, fix his clothes, straighten his posture and so on.
The main signs of falling in love in women
- When a woman falls in love, she is instantly transformed in the eyes of others. She becomes more emotional and active. In the presence of an object of affection, women are often nervous, unable to look into the eyes of the man they like, blushing and rubbing something in their hands.
- A lady in love’s appearance can also tell you eloquently about her feelings. If she looks surprisingly good and you don’t see her like this very often, you can be sure she’s in love and the object of her affection is probably around the corner.
- A girl in love will subconsciously care for the man she likes, try to spend more time with him and make conversation with him every chance she gets.
- Besides, you can easily tell that a woman is in love if she suddenly takes an active interest in her partner’s hobbies, smiles too much and listens too attentively to his every word.
- Another cunning girl can artificially create situations in which the object of her affection is sure to make her jealous of another man. This is a clear signal to take it to the next level.
From all this, it follows that every person, when they fall in love, acquires a different pattern of behaviour that is not peculiar to them. Using these simple clues, you will always be able to know a person in love.
Now we can move on to the main question of our article.
How To Get Over A Crush – 11 Ways
While begging for hope in love, the person does not live their own life, they are completely absorbed in the object of their love. He loses interest in life, stops pursuing hobbies, loses concentration, and becomes indifferent to everything that is not related to the object of his passion. Such feelings are negative and gradually destroy the life of the person in love, so they need to be overcome or just get over it. Below we provide 11 basic tips on how to get over o crush.
1. Turn your attention to a new activity.
Keep your head and hands busy. Any activity will do: movies, books, music, rearranging furniture, repairing the flat, changing hairstyles, outfits, perfumes. Socialise with friends, sign up for courses or the gym, find new company, get a kitten. Distractions are also part of the recipe. You take the bitter medicine because you believe in its miraculous power! The more serious the physical activity, the more tired you will be, the quicker you will switch off, and the less time and energy you will be able to spend on your pointless misery.
2. Try to find faults in your partner.
Write a list of your lover’s faults. It only seems at first glance that he doesn’t have any. If you think back, think about it and dig around, you might find some. Try to look at him not with amorous eyes, and soberly and evaluating, because perfect people in the world simply do not exist. He’s not a god, really! Remember how he showed himself in some controversial situations, especially when you do not like something. For these very shortcomings, begin to judge him and distance yourself from him.
3. Limit your communication with the object of your passion
The wisdom “Out of sight, out of mind” did not originate from nothing. The less often you see someone, the sooner your feelings for them will cool down. Calls and social networking messages that create the illusion of friendship should also be avoided. If you can’t stop communicating completely, for example, if you’re in love with a colleague and you can’t resolve work issues without his participation, distance yourself as much as possible: only professional conversations, strictly formal meetings.
4. Get rid of things that remind you of your lover
Photos, gifts, shopping together, the clothes you wore on your first date with him, the accessory he complimented… Anything that conjures up associations with the person who rejected you should be removed from your sight: throw it away, sell it, donate it to a homeless shelter, or simply hide it away for a while. The same category includes: the tune you dreamed of unfulfilled love to, the book he recommended, the movie you watched together. New things are new emotions. And it’s a great excuse to update your wardrobe, your library, and your playlist.
5. Find new places to walk that are just yours
A favourite restaurant you used to go to together should also be forgotten for a while, as should the park alley where you used to stroll and dream of unfulfilled love. Explore new neighbourhoods, visit new cafes and cinemas, change your route to work and, if possible, change your place of residence. Plus, moving is a great distraction.
6. Don’t beg for sympathy from friends and acquaintances
Of course, the rejected lover wants to be pitied, but in most cases sympathy only makes the situation worse. The more often you tell your unhappy love story, the more likely you are to convince yourself that the tragedy is bigger than it really is. Also, the more people you know know about your heartbreak, the greater your chance of becoming the subject of gossip.
Friendly support is necessary, of course, but it is better to choose a family member or a close friend who will listen carefully and support you. It is wise to ask others not to remind you of what has happened and to ignore the curiosity of others.
7. Occupy all your free time
To think as little as possible about the person you can’t be with, try scheduling your day minute by minute: work, household chores, meetings with family and friends, time for hobbies, reading books, watching movies. There should be no time left in your schedule to feel sorry for yourself.
8. Fill your life with new experiences
Love is great, of course, but there are many other important and interesting things in life. Set a goal to become the best employee of the month, sign up for a sports club or some courses, join a team of volunteers to help others, go on holiday to a country with a completely new culture for you. If life around you is rich in events, new acquaintances and emotions, the mental anguish will recede.
9. Try your hand at creative work
Unhappy love has been the catalyst for many creators to create brilliant works of art. The best way to channel your feelings is to write a book, a painting or a song. The emotion expressed through creativity becomes more positive.
10. Don’t give up a little flirting, but don’t rush into a new relationship
Don’t shy away from people who show interest in you, go on dates, spend time with people you like. Feeling good about yourself will help you believe in yourself. But don’t expect too much: The principle of “like cures like don’t like” doesn’t always apply. Don’t start a new relationship until the old feelings are behind you, otherwise you risk dragging your partner into a situation that you are trying to get out of.
11. Talk to a professional psychologist
Scientists have proven that a person unhappy in love goes through two stages. The first is associated with an increase in dopamine levels in the body, which causes conflicting emotions ranging from intense rage to melancholy. Then, when the dopamine levels drop, stage two sets in, and you become depressed. Not everyone is able to cope with this condition on their own. If you realise that you are not getting better and that it is impossible to take your mind off the thoughts of your unhappy love, it is worth turning to professionals and starting treatment.
How long does a crush last and when does love begin?
Scientists have also found an answer to the question “How long does a crush last?” This does not depend on the sex of the person in love. Men and women fall in love, on average, for the same amount of time. To be more exact – about two years. Mostly it depends on the couple, their temperament and attitude. Sometimes it happens that the crush disappears after a month. And sometimes it can last for several years. This is an individual indicator and there is no exact answer to how long the infatuation lasts. Over time, partners get used to each other, begin to notice their shortcomings, and feelings slowly fade. So the answer to this question you will find out for yourself, by trial and error.
As for love, contrary to various sources who claim that love ends after three years, it can last much longer and never end.