by Sending unsolicited photos of his penis, so-called dick pics, to women is a widespread trend among men – and women suffer from it. Many of them feel disgust and revulsion when they open their new messages and heaps of genital portraits are pushed in their faces, so to speak. We tell you what it’s all about and explain the “Dick Pic” phenomenon.
Dick Pics as a Phenomenon of the Digital Age
Whether on WhatsApp, Tinder or Facebook, many women have certainly had this experience: without any bad premonition, they open a new message and as if out of the blue, a very specific type of photo appears, a penis photo. New German also called “Dick Pic”.
It is probably THE phenomenon of the digital age – men send unsolicited photos of their best piece to women. As anonymously and discreetly as possible, so that the recipient can’t trace back who is responsible for the rather clear and unmistakable message.
There are certainly cases in which a man sends a woman a dick pic at her request, for example when sexting or playing other types of digital erotic games. Nevertheless, this remains the exception. For the most part, dick pics are sent without being asked and without the recipient being aroused by the visual material. On the contrary, women who receive such photos not only didn’t ask for them, they also feel pressured and find what they get to see repulsive. Or to put it more aptly: They feel sexually harassed, not to say sexually abused.
Incidentally, it is also a widespread trend in the gay community to send photos of the best part – both unsolicited and solicited. And unsolicited dick pics are not welcome there either.
The news portal jetzt.de spoke with Jan (name changed), a 33-year-old drag queen. The young man reports, “As a gay man, I am both a sender and a receiver of such pictures, and I have to tell it like it is: unsolicited dick pics are annoying. I get sent penises all the time that I don’t even want to see.”
41% of young women have already received a penis picture without being asked
And what are the exact figures? They were determined by the YouGov polling institute in 2017 and then published as a study in 2018. Around 2,100 women and 1,700 men from the UK aged between 18 and 36 were surveyed.
The results: Of the female survey participants, almost half (46%) have already received a penis picture, and the majority (41%) have done so without being asked. Interestingly, however, only 22% of the men surveyed said they had ever sent a dick pic – and just 5% said they had done so without being asked. So there’s a big discrepancy between the answers – only 22% of men have ever sent a dick pic, but 46% of women have. What could be the reason for this?
It’s easy to explain: For one, many men are embarrassed to admit they’ve sent a photo of their bestie to women. And for another, some of them are repeat offenders, meaning they’ve already tried to impress with a bottom photo several times.
Interestingly for men, although almost half of young women have already received a penis nude picture, only very few of them are turned on by it. That’s what casual dating app Vicotoria Milan found out in a survey of 2,500 female members. The more the penis is focused on in a selfie, the less attractive women find it. An erect genital photo, for example, is perceived as attractive by only 9 percent of women, whereas a selfie of a flirtatious face with sensual eyes appeals to significantly more women (36%).
And unsolicited Vagina photos? Rather the exception than the rule
Conversely, are there also women who send men unsolicited photos of their vulvas? Most certainly. But probably not with such frequency. And there is a reason for that.
Men are much more willing to show their vulvas – which is partly due to the power imbalance between the sexes that still exists in society. Even if the classic role models with gender-specific attributes are outdated stereotypes, they still have a certain validity in the reality of life today. The strong, self-confident and unemotional man versus the weak, reserved and empathetic woman. It is therefore no wonder that many women are not capable of this and do not feel the need to send pictures of their private parts to other men.
Pseudo-exhibition “Men’s Worlds” enlightens
The pseudo-exhibition “Männerwelten” (Men’s Worlds) by author Sophie Passmann, which aims to educate about sexual assault, sexual harassment and sexual violence, reveals more about women’s feelings when they suddenly see a dick photo after opening a message.
It was shown for the first time in prime time on the TV channel ProSieben in a short special programme by the presenter duo Klass Heufer-Umlauf and Joko Winterscheid. Neither of them were seen themselves in the 15 minutes or so. Instead, Passmann was shown together with actress Palina Rojinski on a tour of the exhibition.
Cock pictures sent to Rojinski and her friends hung on the walls of the premises. In addition, several celebrities had their say about their experiences with sexual harassment, including unsolicited penis pictures.
With this pseudo-exhibition, Passmann and all those involved wanted to send an important signal against practices such as sending dick pics. Because dating apps, messengers and social media, the communication possibilities of modern times, make it very easy for perpetrators to cross boundaries in this way seemingly unnoticed.
“Männerwelten” can also be watched free of charge on the YouTube channel “Joko & Klaas”.
Demonstration of power and crossing borders
Most women feel harassed by an unsolicited penis selfie. That should be obvious to men. So the legitimate question is: Why is sending penis pictures so popular with guys? Do they enjoy being sexually assaulted? If there is no psychopathic predisposition, probably not. Are they acting out their fetish? Also a possibility, but unlikely to be the main reason for many. But then what could be the attraction for men to send private dick pics?
Barbara Krahé, professor of social psychology at the University of Potsdam with a research focus on sexual aggression and social information processing in a legal context, explains in an interview with spiegel.de: “The penis, one’s own sexual potency, is traditionally and therefore for many considered the absolute epitome of masculinity. Men who think they have to send pictures of their private parts have a problem with their masculinity: they want to reassure themselves how masculine they are and then prove it to women.” She goes on to say, “They feel the need to exercise power: I am a real man because I decide where the boundaries are – and I cross them deliberately. Simply because I can.”
According to the psychologist, the two main motives for men to send dick pictures are a demonstration of power and the crossing of boundaries. This view is also held by Sarah Danielewski, a psychologist from Hamburg. She explains to N-JOY: “The perpetrators enjoy getting their way, being frightened and humiliated. The unmediated sending of a penis picture is a transgression of boundaries and a demonstration of power.”
On the other hand, the fact that men seriously think women would enjoy a dick selfie is only rarely true. Most of them do not lack the imagination to realise that a penis picture is more likely to have the opposite effect. According to Barbara Krahé, taking it anyway means courage and dominance.
The professor also confirms that sending penis photos has nothing to do with sexual frustration. After all, the sender and recipient usually do not know each other. This anonymity even lowers the threshold for anti-social behaviour. You can try things out, go overboard and reassure yourself of your masculinity. However, the senders of dick pics are far from being sexually frustrated.
Dick Pic Sending Does Not Equal Exhibitionism
Before the internet, mobile phones, social media and messenger services, you had to be in a room to show another person your penis. In a way, you could only show off your best piece in an analogue way instead of a digital way. Men who like to present themselves uncovered have it much easier nowadays.
One could quickly come to the conclusion that sending dick pics today is the exhibitionism of the past. Or is it? Barbara Krahé denies that. She told spiegel.de: “An exhibitionist wants to show himself naked – then he has achieved his goal, finds satisfaction, does not necessarily expect a direct reaction from others. A dickpic sender knowingly crosses boundaries, wants to know exactly: How do you like what you see?”
Under the cover of anonymity, a dickpic-shipper can act out his narcissistic desire for power, control and dominance. An exhibitionist is also concerned with these three aspects to a certain extent, but the decisive difference is that he is not anonymous in his deeds – because he does not want to be. He simply does not care whether his victims recognise him or not. The only important thing for an exhibitionist is that he can expose his masculinity in order to feel satisfaction. This gives him a feeling of power and control – he has reached his goal.
In contrast, men who send unsolicited penis pictures only feel power, control and dominance because they are acting from a protected space. They do not know the recipient, the recipient does not know them. This gives them a special thrill and is the reason why they expose themselves digitally and not analogue.
How Women Should Respond to Dick Picks
For women who are harassed with penis pictures, the question arises: What to do? Simply ignore them, write a reply or better file a criminal complaint?
There is no general answer. It all depends on which coping strategy the recipient of the dick photo can best live with. Some women don’t want to let the incident get to them at all and delete the picture immediately, while others feel the urge to reply.
However, anyone who does not let a penis nude picture go, but writes a message to the sender and is outraged in it, must expect an aggressive reaction. Barbara Krahé explains to spiegel.de why this is so: “If the recipient reacts negatively or critically, it often happens in a flash: the man who showed his penis becomes extremely insulting, becomes aggressive. The moment the woman defends herself, she compensates for the difference in power.”
Moreover, a response breaks the anonymity of the dick-pick sender. He feels threatened and finds it difficult to deal with this feeling. This is because the actual purpose of his message and the need to live out his narcissistic personality without fighting back could not be fulfilled in its entirety.
Legal consequences of penis images
Besides ignoring and replying, another option is to file a complaint against the sender of unwanted penis photos. Because such behaviour may well constitute a criminal offence. This is according to paragraph 184 of the Criminal Code – distribution of pornographic writings. It states, among other things: Whoever allows a pornographic writing to be passed on to another without being requested to do so by the latter shall be punished with imprisonment of up to one year or with a fine.
Alexandra Braun, a lawyer for sexual criminal law from Hamburg, knows criminal proceedings because of unsolicited penis photos from her professional practice. She has already defended a defendant and lost the case. She told N-JOY: “He got a fine amounting to one month’s salary – that is, 30 daily sentences.” That could hurt financially, depending on his earnings. In addition, the conviction would result in an entry in the Federal Central Register.
The question remains: How can one take legal action against unsolicited penis pictures of users, even though one does not know their real names and has no other personal information? Christian Solmecke, a media lawyer from Cologne, advises in an interview with rtl.de: “There are several ways to proceed here. In order to protect oneself against further harassment, those affected should block the respective user and report him to the respective platform.” And further: “If you want to take criminal action against it, it is also important to secure evidence. That’s why you should take a screenshot of the picture and the chat history before deleting the message or blocking it.”
Such a procedure makes it easier to prove afterwards that the picture was indeed sent unwanted. In addition, it can be helpful to download the picture, as it may be possible to draw conclusions about the camera used.
At the same time, Solmecke warns against posting received dick pics online out of revenge or as a warning, as this would make oneself liable to prosecution and would then no longer be just a victim, but also a perpetrator.
Better alternatives to sending penis photos
If you want to avoid unpleasant consequences, you should not send women unsolicited dick picks. But what if the desire gets out of hand? When you can’t help but present your best piece to strange women digitally?
The internet ensures that there is an alternative for men to present their penis in photographs to an anonymous public – and not be sexually assaulted in the process. Namely, special web portals for dick selfie uploads.
