By a UTK Sophomore
I’ve fucked a lot of guys.
And after all of the guys I’ve fucked, I feel as though I’ve learned so many valuable things about myself: my kinks, my limits, the way that my body experiences pleasure…
Fucking guys has taught me some pretty significant shit, like that when I’m horny enough, it only takes one strong stroke of a cool, wet tongue across my clit to send tremors throughout my body. Or that my perineum is all too often the unsung hero of my orgasms. That I can give a damn good lap dance to the right song, and teasing someone turns me on in a way that nothing else can. Having sex with men taught me that I don’t care for anal penetration, but I’ll let you rim me all day long. That I do not like doggy-style, and I’m sensitive to latex condoms. Having sex with guys taught me that attempting anything BDSM-related can get super intense super fast, so I like to use not-so-serious safe words to help lighten the mood for that very reason (my personal favorites are either kiwi or tulip).
Having sex with men has taught me the power in my body—the power in my own sexual pleasure—and why it’s important to know these things about myself.
Then I had sex with a woman, and holy shit. Talk about a life-changing, time-stopping, world-shattering experience that really only taught me one major thing:
Everything I think I know? Yeah. I actually know nothing.
It wasn’t until I fucked a woman that I realized I severely dislike sucking dick, and that I would much rather lick pussy all day, every day, seven days a week. It wasn’t until I fucked a woman that I learned 69ing in the backseat of a car is a million times less complicated when done between two women. Fucking a woman made me realize that my own body hair is beautiful. That penetration isn’t very important to me at all, and makes no real difference in whether I come or not. That hearing a woman’s moan at the right time is almost guaranteed to make me come harder than either of us were probably prepared for. Fucking a woman taught me that my sexuality is in a constant state of evolution—remolding and adapting itself after every discovery—and there is no possible way for me to claim that I concretely and comprehensively “know” anything about my sexuality because it is all subject to change with each sexual experience.
It took fucking only one woman for me to realize how much I still have to learn about myself.
Her eyes on mine are magnetic blue on hesitant green.
When she captures me with those eyes,
I am lost in the most inviting oceans I have ever seen.
Her eyes on mine are metallic connection on years of isolated green.
Bright, mesmeric, and
Wide enough to take all of me in.
Her eyes say more than the words on her lips, but
Her eyes on mine are only the half of it.
Her gaze holding mine has depth like a soul.
At its core is something wild and fearless.
Her gaze holding mine is contented suspension in a force field of ultramarine.
My mystified green beholders yearn to be held there forever.
The first time I ever orgasmed I was a sophomore in college. Up until that point I had no idea what I was missing out on. I honestly never considered masturbation until I was in college. My high school was one that told you that sex was a terrible thing and that anything involved with it was a no no. So I never really knew what I was missing. It wasn’t until my friend told me about it that I really thought about even trying. This same friend even helped me buy my first vibrator.
I had decided that I was going to masturbate at night on a Friday. Why I decided this, I have no idea. I guess I wasn’t sure what all was going to happen. I really thought that I would be broken the next day. HA. You can see how sad my life is when I think having a single orgasm will put me out for a day. Anyway, I then decided that I was going to masturbate in my favorite place in my house, the bathroom. So the shower it was.
Friday night, I grabbed my vibrator and headed to the shower. Again, I had no idea what the heck I was doing. I started masturbating and nothing happened. Then I could only focus on the fact that nothing was happening, which made me more uncomfortable and more scared that I am going to be the only woman in the world that couldn’t cum. By this time my water had gone cold and my sexy feeling was completely gone. I really started to get worried that my body was messed up and I even thought about calling my doctor.
However, I did not give up. I went to my bed, tried again, and BOOM it happened! I literally had no idea that something could feel so amazing and empowering. I truly felt sexy. This was the first time that I could control my body and make it listen to me and what I wanted. I was able to make my whole body shake with one flick of my fingers. To me, there is something powerful about that. My confidence went through the roof and I am so proud of myself.
I am very proud to say that I can and will cum. 🙂