The things you think you know

By a UTK Sophomore

I’ve fucked a lot of guys.

And after all of the guys I’ve fucked, I feel as though I’ve learned so many valuable things about myself: my kinks, my limits, the way that my body experiences pleasure…

Fucking guys has taught me some pretty significant shit, like that when I’m horny enough, it only takes one strong stroke of a cool, wet tongue across my clit to send tremors throughout my body. Or that my perineum is all too often the unsung hero of my orgasms. That I can give a damn good lap dance to the right song, and teasing someone turns me on in a way that nothing else can. Having sex with men taught me that I don’t care for anal penetration, but I’ll let you rim me all day long. That I do not like doggy-style, and I’m sensitive to latex condoms. Having sex with guys taught me that attempting anything BDSM-related can get super intense super fast, so I like to use not-so-serious safe words to help lighten the mood for that very reason (my personal favorites are either kiwi or tulip).

Having sex with men has taught me the power in my body—the power in my own sexual pleasure—and why it’s important to know these things about myself.

Then I had sex with a woman, and holy shit. Talk about a life-changing, time-stopping, world-shattering experience that really only taught me one major thing:

Everything I think I know? Yeah. I actually know nothing.

It wasn’t until I fucked a woman that I realized I severely dislike sucking dick, and that I would much rather lick pussy all day, every day, seven days a week. It wasn’t until I fucked a woman that I learned 69ing in the backseat of a car is a million times less complicated when done between two women. Fucking a woman made me realize that my own body hair is beautiful. That penetration isn’t very important to me at all, and makes no real difference in whether I come or not. That hearing a woman’s moan at the right time is almost guaranteed to make me come harder than either of us were probably prepared for. Fucking a woman taught me that my sexuality is in a constant state of evolution—remolding and adapting itself after every discovery—and there is no possible way for me to claim that I concretely and comprehensively “know” anything about my sexuality because it is all subject to change with each sexual experience.

It took fucking only one woman for me to realize how much I still have to learn about myself. 

My friends are having sex and I am not

By a UTK sophomore

i’ve never had sex.

while my lack of experience never really meant anything to me in high school, that mindset changed by the time i got to college. the majority of my friends (easily over 90%) have had sex. the conversations i’ve had with my friends about their sex lives are often hilarious, and i’m glad they’re comfortable talking to me about that part of themselves. while i’m truly happy that my friends are having fun and enjoying themselves, i can’t help but wonder what i’m doing wrong. i hate it when i can’t find the answers to amusing, sex-related icebreakers, but i especially hate that i can’t relate to my friends. this inability to relate generates massive insecurity. am i not aggressive enough? am i too loud when i laugh? do i have too much acne on my face? is my body undesirable? are my self-esteem problems that obvious? the list of questions is indefinite and disheartening.  

while i know that my self-worth is not tied to the amount of sex i have or haven’t had, i find it often difficult to separate the two. it’s difficult to exist in a society where women are demonized for the amount of sex they have, but that is another topic for a different day. i shouldn’t feel this way. i shouldn’t feel like i’m an inadequate or incomplete because i’ve never had a dick inside me. i shouldn’t feel like i’m missing something because i have never been eaten out. i shouldn’t be jealous or envious of other people for having sex, and i definitely shouldn’t be beating myself up about not having sex. BUT I DO. i don’t really have any solutions to get rid of these feelings. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do, and that terrifies me.

Magnetic Blue

By anonymous

Her eyes on mine are magnetic blue on hesitant green.
When she captures me with those eyes,
I am lost in the most inviting oceans I have ever seen.

Her eyes on mine are metallic connection on years of isolated green.
Bright, mesmeric, and
Wide enough to take all of me in.

Her eyes say more than the words on her lips, but
Her eyes on mine are only the half of it.

Her gaze holding mine has depth like a soul.
At its core is something wild and fearless.

Her gaze holding mine is contented suspension in a force field of ultramarine.
My mystified green beholders yearn to be held there forever.

Cum for me

By anonymous

The first time I ever orgasmed I was a sophomore in college. Up until that point I had no idea what I was missing out on. I honestly never considered masturbation until I was in college. My high school was one that told you that sex was a terrible thing and that anything involved with it was a no no. So I never really knew what I was missing. It wasn’t until my friend told me about it that I really thought about even trying. This same friend even helped me buy my first vibrator.

I had decided that I was going to masturbate at night on a Friday. Why I decided this, I have no idea. I guess I wasn’t sure what all was going to happen. I really thought that I would be broken the next day. HA. You can see how sad my life is when I think having a single orgasm will put me out for a day.  Anyway, I then decided that I was going to masturbate in my favorite place in my house, the bathroom. So the shower it was. 

Friday night, I grabbed my vibrator and headed to the shower. Again, I had no idea what the heck I was doing. I started masturbating and nothing happened. Then I could only focus on the fact that nothing was happening, which made me more uncomfortable and more scared that I am going to be the only woman in the world that couldn’t cum. By this time my water had gone cold and my sexy feeling was completely gone. I really started to get worried that my body was messed up and I even thought about calling my doctor.

However, I did not give up. I went to my bed, tried again, and BOOM it happened! I literally had no idea that something could feel so amazing and empowering. I truly felt sexy. This was the first time that I could control my body and make it listen to me and what I wanted. I was able to make my whole body shake with one flick of my fingers. To me, there is something powerful about that. My confidence went through the roof and I am so proud of myself.

I am very proud to say that I can and will cum. 🙂 

Sticky Situations

By a fourth year student at UTK

I like to masturbate. Sometimes right when I wake up to have a good start to my day, or right before I go to bed to let out all my tension. My favorite time to masturbate is in the middle of the day. I’ll sit around waiting for my roommate to leave, double checking by asking “oh, where ya goin?” as if I cared about my roommate’s life. No, I’m really making sure they will be gone at least 2 minutes and up to 50 minutes, depending on my level of horniness and how much I don’t want to do homework. In these moments, all I want to do is take off all my clothes, blast my porn through my headphones, and masturbate.

But it can be messy. It’s as if my cum has a mind of its own. Jizz isn’t the easiest or clearest substance in the world, and I don’t know how many times I’ve rolled back into bed and questioned why my sheets were sticky. I also shoot a lot. It’s uncontrollable, like a sprinkler that soaks the grass but also the sidewalk, the buildings, and people as they walk by. I never know where it goes. Lately it’s been shooting onto my face no matter where I aim my penis. I close my eyes and mouth to avoid it. Sometimes I don’t get it all before going out, and I awkwardly feel something sticky. Uh, oh. Yup, that’s my cum on my face.