The things you think you know

By a UTK Sophomore

I’ve fucked a lot of guys.

And after all of the guys I’ve fucked, I feel as though I’ve learned so many valuable things about myself: my kinks, my limits, the way that my body experiences pleasure…

Fucking guys has taught me some pretty significant shit, like that when I’m horny enough, it only takes one strong stroke of a cool, wet tongue across my clit to send tremors throughout my body. Or that my perineum is all too often the unsung hero of my orgasms. That I can give a damn good lap dance to the right song, and teasing someone turns me on in a way that nothing else can. Having sex with men taught me that I don’t care for anal penetration, but I’ll let you rim me all day long. That I do not like doggy-style, and I’m sensitive to latex condoms. Having sex with guys taught me that attempting anything BDSM-related can get super intense super fast, so I like to use not-so-serious safe words to help lighten the mood for that very reason (my personal favorites are either kiwi or tulip).

Having sex with men has taught me the power in my body—the power in my own sexual pleasure—and why it’s important to know these things about myself.

Then I had sex with a woman, and holy shit. Talk about a life-changing, time-stopping, world-shattering experience that really only taught me one major thing:

Everything I think I know? Yeah. I actually know nothing.

It wasn’t until I fucked a woman that I realized I severely dislike sucking dick, and that I would much rather lick pussy all day, every day, seven days a week. It wasn’t until I fucked a woman that I learned 69ing in the backseat of a car is a million times less complicated when done between two women. Fucking a woman made me realize that my own body hair is beautiful. That penetration isn’t very important to me at all, and makes no real difference in whether I come or not. That hearing a woman’s moan at the right time is almost guaranteed to make me come harder than either of us were probably prepared for. Fucking a woman taught me that my sexuality is in a constant state of evolution—remolding and adapting itself after every discovery—and there is no possible way for me to claim that I concretely and comprehensively “know” anything about my sexuality because it is all subject to change with each sexual experience.

It took fucking only one woman for me to realize how much I still have to learn about myself. 

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